We are unbounded

Slept badly. Woke very early. Meditated for a while but have lost that experience.

Went out with Oscar about 6.30 and returned an hour later.

Meditating again, a most unusual experience.

Now I have a much better sense of what happened to Chiltern Pierce and others going off to the desert with Shamen.

The Spanda came quick and strong but then shifts began to happen

Te centre of my awarenss shifted from my head to my heart again .

Then I lost all boundaries.

I have risen and showered and cold showered and am still in an odd state.

I have a whole different understanding of what they call a skin bounded ego.

These kind of experiences are coming on the back of reading the spanda sutras, not to mention Chopra videos.

For an hour I was aware of a pressure on the top of my head and a cramp in my gut but otherwise I did not have my body. I am losing the ability to frame this in words.

I remember thinking of the Druids Light Body, but was this a body made of light or just a lighter body.

The key learning is that I am unbounded. I live in a universe without boundary and it is terrifying as well as beguiling.

I am reminded again of my old sense of only existing through the pain I experience in my body. They call it the pain body or the victim body.

If there are pains now I ignore them and they melt away.

I have a crampy tummy but I am not a crampy tummy.

All of this sounds very undramatic and almost prosaic as I write it.

I was not drawn out of my body and thrown over any precipices.

But I was aware that this could happen to me in this state at any moment.

The anchors I have in being embodied and skin encapsulated were gone.

What did Leonard say? "The is no space but there is left and right."

In previous meditations I have shifted left and right out of my centre in terms of a centre of my being in consciousness.

I am reminded of how I could shape shift into my bear energy in shamanic fashion years ago.

That felt easy and natural compared to this, however, which feels very strange.

I keep wondering if these things are the result of some brain tumour or cancer, escaping back into the Newtonian universe or whatever Blake woud have called it.

Can't see how that would improve things, not exactly a less scary place to be.

Oh Yes. I have an increasing sense of the "I" that is eternal, that will always be, when the little i that i suppose I have, ceases to be in this world.

I would like to feel more present right now, however, in a much less altered state.

I pondered if this state of meditation was a dream state or a state of unconsciousness.

It is not unlike a dream and yet I was awake and lucid enough.

Baba music energizes me again. I am running like the wind in the park. Oscar declines to keep up!

Back home I look to the Sutras

I must quote from the last one I just came across, number 112

""The concepts of bondage and liberation are scary (bhita: "frightened, alarmed, terrified, timid, afraid of or emperiled by, anxious about."

Terror is part of the path. The name Bharaiva (Shiva) itself means" frightful, terrible, horrible, formidable."

Know that your essence is not trapped in this body. You are not trapped by the space time continuum. The soul, that which we seek, is not rapped in matter."

Perfect for my current experience.

These days I am right out of my old comfort zone.

Maybe, therefore, I am doing something right!

That is from Lorin's interpretation section. Last night I realize I read the original sutra itself.

Shiva says

"Bondage, freedom

Notions arising from fear and separation.

Look upon the universe and see only me."

Hmm I don't yet feel the connection here. I am just a student learning from the sages of old.

Baba tells me sometimes the truth you directly experience needs to be confirmed by what is written.